Knights of the Cardboard Castle

The rest of the year passes uneventfully but in 285, King Robert Baratheon invites Doran Martell to King’s Landing to serve as his Master of Laws. Since refusing would cause offence and it would not do to break openly with the Iron Throne so early, we accept. Besides, we surmise that being in King’s Landing would put us in a better position to know what is going on at the highest echelons of power.

Unfortunately we did not count on the extreme stupidity of this oaf of a king. He apparently thinks that taking back the New Gift that was given by Queen Alysanne to the Night’s Watch during the reign of King Jaehaerys I Targaryen would be a splendid idea. So he sends Doran Martell to the far north to fabricate a claim that the crown can use as a pretext to seize the lands.

Since this effort is doomed to failure we are resigned to having Doran stay in the north for some time until the silly king changes his mind. In the meantime the Lord Trebor that we were keeping an eye on finally starts making trouble in 287. He declares war against Lady Nymella for the Lordship of Ghost Hill. As his liege, Doran orders him to stand down but he refuses. This provides sufficient justification for us to seize the Lordship of The Tor from him, lay a legal claim on the High Lordship of the Ghosthills and clap him in irons.

Enraged, he demands his right to trial by combat. We acquiesce by having Prince Oberyn Martell fight him. Naturally the Red Viper of Dorne makes short work of this troublesome vassal. Without his leadership, his war peters out, we retain the Lordship of The Tor as part of Doran’s personal demesne and his other titles pass on to his daughter, the Lady Myria, who is yet a child. She isn’t too happy about us having killed her father, but she dislikes us far less than her father did. She retains the High Lordship of the Ghosthills, but as we have a legal claim on it, we can strip the title from her at any time if she does not fall in line. At the same time, we’ve increased our personal power and made Lady Nymella very happy with us. That’s a pretty good result all around.

During this time King Robert Baratheon and Queen Cersei Lannister have been busily making children. In fact by 288, the eldest of them, a boy named Grance, is two years old. In addition the king has a bastard daughter by another woman named Mya Stone. More suspiciously the queen has two stillborn children after having Grance. More and more people are also noticing that Grance looks nothing like the King. Doran Martell therefore quietly begins a plot to investigate the legitimacy of Prince Grance. Among the powerful persons of note who support the plot are Lord Petyr Baelish, the Hand of the King, Lord Paramount Mace Tyrell of The Reach and Grand Maester Pycelle of King’s Landing.

Lord Baelish reports the results soon enough. Apparently Grance is really the child of Queen Cersei Lannister and her own brother, Ser Jaime Lannister of the Kingsguard! We report the evidence to the King but he is so stubborn and dim-witted that it takes multiple attempts to convince him. But he finally strips Grance of his inheritance and the name of Baratheon. This causes Doran Martell to become the mortal enemy of both Grance Lannister and Queen Cersei. King Robert is also extremely displeased with us. Oddly enough Lord Tywin Lannister of the Westerlands doesn’t really seem to care one way or another.

But it appears that King Robert never learns for by 290, he has another heir who seems to be again a child of his Queen’s incestuous union. This time Doran Martell is able to gather less support and the King dismisses our claims, retaining this Prince Steffon Baratheon as his heir. Nevertheless we send ravens to all the lords of the land about our findings. This makes the King very angry with us but it will surely undermine the Baratheon royal line and this is what we have always wanted.

Things quiet down for some time but then in 291 we receive some unexpected news. King Robert imprisons Lord Tywin Lannister for some slight that we know nothing about. Then as House Lannister is in turmoil, we receive news in 292 that Lord Kevan Lannister, the brother of Lord Tywin, has died of apparently natural causes. While we would have preferred to enact vengeance on Lord Kevan by our own hand, anything that weakens House Lannister isn’t entirely bad news.

At the end of 292, when we receive news that King Robert has also imprisoned Lord Paramount Edmure Tully of the Riverlands for some slight, it is not difficult to conclude that the Baratheon royal line is on a downhill slide. And just to make things more interesting, in early 293 the Citadel sends out ravens to all the lords of Westeros from Oldtown to announce that winter is coming.

Indeed 293 proves to be a fateful year for in March, King Robert asks us to join in his plot to see Queen Cersei dead. We very much doubt that the plot can succeed due to the poor support it has in King’s Landing but we eagerly throw in our lot anyway. Then in September of that same year, King Robert releases Lord Tywin from prison, where he had been languishing for two years.

Barely two months later, we receive news that King Robert Baratheon has died at the age of 30 in a suspicious accident. Suspicious indeed. We believe that things are about to get exciting in the Seven Kingdoms.